Jubilate (v): to feel or express joy or triumph

“Praise Him for His mighty deeds; praise Him according to His excellent greatness.” -Psalm 150:2

Our family has endured many fiery trials this year, and we continue to be engulfed in these flames. However, through it all, our great God has loved, provided for, and sustained us! There is much to be thankful for and much to praise Him for ‘according to His excellent greatness.’ Therefore, we jubilate in the Lord’s mighty works!

One year ago, on October 3rd, my children and I were having dinner on a typical Monday evening. Jon was running late getting home from work, and we started dinner without him, thinking he would walk in the door at any moment and join us. This was the last ordinary day in that season of our lives. When the phone rang, little did I know that our lives would be forever changed in that instant!

A firefighter who used to attend church with us was on the other end of the line and explained that Jon had collided with the side of a house with his truck and was being taken to the hospital. Over the next few hours, the doctors began investigating why he passed out while driving and found a large brain tumor in his left temporal lobe. This initiated a harrowing month in the hospital and rehab center, during which he underwent three major surgeries, learned to walk again, and had to re-learn how to do most daily activities.

During this month, we discovered that the brain tumor they removed from him was THE most aggressive form of brain cancer called Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). While Jon has mostly recovered from the injuries he sustained in the car accident, this brain cancer diagnosis has irreversibly changed our lives. This marked the beginning of a new season in our lives. When the doctor initially delivered the news of the pathology report results from Jon’s tumor, he said that Jon’s life expectancy would be 16-18 months, EVEN with treatment. The outlook was bleak!

Slowly, over the past year, Jon has recovered from all the breaks in his bones and regained his mobility. He works hard every day doing exercises and walking to increase his mobility. Concurrently with that, he has also been undergoing treatment for GBM. There is a six-month cycle that is initially indicated for GBM patients, which includes radiation and chemotherapy. He completed the radiation and initial round of chemotherapy last December, just before the new year. He then began the standard course of monthly chemotherapy treatments. However, he has struggled with low blood counts and, therefore, has had a modified version of this treatment. He has had to wait longer between the chemotherapy cycles and have a much smaller dosage. Last night, he completed his 5th round of chemotherapy.

He has also been doing some more holistic treatments. He has read a voluminous amount of books, articles, online journals, etc., about how to effectively treat cancer. He has radically changed his diet. He eats a lot of healthy, organic, fresh vegetables and lean proteins. He has cut out all sugar and most dairy from his diet. He takes an infusion of vitamins every week via intravenous fluids. Additionally, he takes various other supplements orally. In August, he had an MRI to check the progression of the cancer. The doctor could hardly believe what he saw when he looked at the results! There has been NO NEW GROWTH in his tumors since February. Oh, how the Lord has sustained him and held back the growth of this terrible cancer! His next scans will be at the end of this month.

The brain is a complex and fragile organ. Once damaged, it does not regain its former functionality, like a broken bone or a cut on the skin. Although there is burgeoning research to show that some neurons in the brain do regenerate slowly, for the most part, the brain does not regenerate; it remaps. This phenomenon is called neuroplasticity. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, “Neuroplasticity is the capacity for continuous alteration of the neural pathways and synapses of the living brain and nervous system in response to experience or injury (Merriam Webster, October 2023).” I believe Jon’s brain has been very good at this. Jon has a strong will to survive and to thrive. He works so hard to try to regain what he has lost in his physical strength, cognitive powers, and memory. Every time he visits the neurologist, the doctor is amazed that there does not appear to be weakness on the right side of his body even though he had a left temporal lobe craniotomy. Though we have seen significant progress in Jon’s condition, many challenges remain. Although we have not seen a lot of growth in the tumors, Jon has been unable to work for this entire year. He sleeps a lot. He has to think carefully and deeply about many tasks that would have been easy for him before. He still gets easily confused. He still struggles with back pain from his broken vertebrae. Over the course of the past several months, the doctor has lowered the dosage of his anti-seizure medicine. This has been a huge catholicon for some of his moodiness and loss of memory. He is so much more like himself! However, there are many ways in which we do not know if he will ever be the same again.

Over the past few months, as the anniversary of his accident grew closer, I have considered all the ways in which our lives have changed due to Jon’s accident and illness. I’ve also thought so much about those few weeks just following his accident and the night we spent in the emergency room while they assessed his injuries. That night, my good friend Gwynne sat with us all night. Jon was in and out of coherent thought and mostly had his eyes closed in rest. When he awakened, he would ask us to recite Psalm 23. Gwynne carries high the banner of Bible Drills and the value of scripture memory in general. She probably recited that chapter twenty times throughout the night. When words could not come to me, tears poured forth from my eyes profusely, and Jon could only agonize in pain; her recitation was such a tremendous comfort to us. Little did I know that we really were walking through the valley of the shadow of death. At that time, I was simply focused on his orthopedic injuries sustained during the wreck. I did not imagine that a few short weeks later, we would be dealing with the reality of the cancer that now threatens his very life. During those weeks in the hospital and even for the two or three following months, I think I was just surviving on adrenaline. There were many people willing to help, and our needs were very obvious. As time has passed, we have adapted to our situation. I have come to understand the reality that life will never be the same again. The sustained length of this trial has begun to take its toll on my heart and resolve. In many ways, this feels like the long night of the tribulation. I have found that I must daily ask the Lord for new strength to persevere. Many times, this is a lonely road to walk. I am busy trying to keep our household going with meals, cleaning, laundry, schooling, and helping to care for Jon. I’m pushing through all this while living under this cloud of sadness and grief. Last week, as we walked through the memories evoked by the anniversary of his accident, the weight of it all threatened to overwhelm my steadfastness. I was reminded again of Psalm 23 and its comfort to the believer. This Lord is our shepherd, and He will provide our needs! He will bring us comfort, sustain, and refresh us with His quiet waters and green pastures. Last Sunday night at church, we sang an old hymn called “My Shepherd Will Supply My Need,” whose words were penned by Isaac Watts based on Psalm 23. Here are the lyrics to that hymn:

The Lord provides for us, comforts us, drives our fears from us, and is ever present with us. Why does He do this? For HIS great name and HIS glory. None of this is for our comfort. When enduring trying times, it is often our reaction to complain, grumble, and even become angry under the weight of the struggle and the pain. However, these thoughts come from an inward focus on our own desires, sentiments, and feelings. I was recently reading 1 Corinthians for my daily Bible reading and was reminded of this very truth. We are not our own; we are the Lord’s people. I tend to idolize my own comfort and desires, forgetting that I do not belong to myself. All of my actions flow from a focus on my own contentment or ambition.

“yet for us, there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.” – 1 Corinthians 8:6

Remembering that we are made for our God, who made all things, and that we exist for Him and through Him should really drive away our selfish thoughts and desires. It is for Him that we live and breathe and have our existence. In the next chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul talks about running the race well.

“I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it.Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but [only] one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then [do it] to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. “– 1 Corinthians 9:23 – 27

So, as I run this race of life, I’m reminded that all of the pain, suffering, joys, happiness, and anything we encounter in this life is to display the glory of God and His salvation to all who meet us. I want to live my life in a way that I run this gospel race to win. In this season of my life, it means having a perspective that sees even the suffering as another opportunity to share the gospel and greatness of our God. God has an ultimate purpose for us; his ways are mighty and wiser than ours.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.”For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8 – 9

As I think back over the past year since Jon’s accident and cancer diagnosis, I am in awe of how the Lord has provided for our needs. In every trial, regardless of the need: physical needs, emotional needs, or financial needs, the Lord has provided in ways I could not have imagined. He has supplied us exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ask or think. I could fill pages and pages of text with stories of God’s goodness to us and faithfulness in His provisions. Yes, this is a highly challenging season of life, but we are not without hope and peace. It seems that every time I read my Bible, the Holy Spirit reminds me of this eternal perspective. Another verse that I have recently been meditating on is Ecclesiastes 7:8.

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning; patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit.” -Ecclesiastes 7:8

I have been anxious for this pain and suffering to end in our lives. However, this does not seem to be a brief tribulation for us. I am learning to accept that we have moved into a new season of our lives. This battle with cancer will be long and difficult. We must patiently endure with a humble spirit, trusting the Lord for every step. I may not see the end or even the path ahead, but I have to simply take the next action set before me. I have also come to realize that even if our present circumstances do not improve on this side of eternity, the END of the matter truly is better than its beginning. For we have hope in Christ that is assured. All our tears will be wiped away one day, and there will be no more pain. The Lord may not choose to make our earthly, temporal circumstances better, but one day we will see Christ, and we will see clearly with our own eyes that all of the pain, suffering, loss, work, trials, ups, downs, joys, and sorrows have been for His glory and for our good. His ways are INDEED higher than our ways. This suffering is a gift from the Lord to conform us more and more to His image. Therefore, I will jubilate in this present suffering because I have a greater hope!