arduous: marked by great labor or effort : STRENUOUS; hard to accomplish or achieve : DIFFICULT

Brain cancer is not for the faint of heart. It is an arduous journey. There are ups and downs, highs and lows. The plethora of moments, struggles, joys, hardships, dilemmas, delights, sorrows, and adversities are junctions that we must navigate along the way. The most challenging part of our current reality is living right now with a view and understanding of a wholly unsure future. Statistically speaking, this disease will likely take Jon’s life. About half of glioblastoma patients succumb to it within 15 months of diagnosis, and only about 5% live beyond five years. Since October, these statistics have haunted us. They seem so imminent and final! In the end, however, they are just statistics. We know that God has numbered all of our days. We do not know the number of Jon’s days though we have prepared our hearts based on the information we have discovered. I was having a conversation with a friend recently about experiencing tragedy in our lives. She noted that when she received the news of the tragedy in her life, people all around her were just living life as normal. Yet, as she walked among them, her world was turned upside down. This is how I feel daily. I go to the grocery store, church, various appointments with my kids and I see all the people seemingly without care, just living their lives. I think, my world is falling apart, but the rest of the world just keeps on turning. This is the reality in which we who are suffering must walk daily. It reminds me that we all have burdens to bear, even if they do not show outwardly. It reminds me to pray for those around me. It reminds me of the reality of this fallen world in which we live where tragedy and suffering are unavoidable. We pray for healing. We pray for the restoration of Jon’s mind. The harsh reality, though, is that we live in the day-to-day. This day-to-day is hard and sad! It is strenuous, difficult, hard to accomplish, in short: arduous! He’s often forgetful, confused, or illogical. In many ways, he is a different person than we knew a year ago. Then, there are the high moments when he is lucid, rational, funny, and we can see the brilliant man we have always known. These days are agonizing as we wrestle with the tension of living our ‘normal’ lives within the storm of this battle. On the one extreme, we can continue on with life as if the turmoil does not exist. Conversely, we can halt everything, stop, and enjoy just being with Jon. It is a tension we are constantly weighing. I want to be faithful to the calling I have been given. I want to model hope, peace, and perseverance to my children throughout this stormy blast. Would you pray with me for wisdom and steadfastness as we sojourn in the arduous land?

Over the past few months, since his chemotherapy in March, Jon’s blood counts have been low. He got a shot to help them recover. It did help, but his counts did not reach the level the doctor wanted to resume the chemotherapy. In early June, he had another MRI and a visit with the neuro-oncologist. We did not know what to expect in this MRI, given that he had no chemotherapy since his last scan in early March. Praise the Lord! There were no significant changes in the MRI since his previous scan. Although Jon’s blood counts were still a little out of range, the doctor decided to go ahead and resume the chemotherapy, but at a much lower dose for this round. He is in the middle of that five-day dosage right now. Will you pray with me that he will be strengthened during this time, that his body will endure the medicine, and that it will have its intended results? He will return to the doctor for another scan in August. Pray with me that we will find positive results at that time.

The Lord has continued to give us little gifts and surprises that remind us of His provision, love, and care for our every need and even some of our longings. I’ve spoken before about the National Christian Forensics and Communications Association (NCFCA) and its impact on our homeschooling journey. NOTHING has prepared my children to face the demands of living in a post-modern world like NCFCA. The work required to learn to communicate with integrity and grace and the refining fires of competition have shaped them and continue to mold them into bright young men and women prepared to give an answer for the hope that is within them! Beyond the competition, NCFCA, and especially our local Baton Rouge Speech and Debate Club and Region 7 family, have been invaluable supports over the past nine months. After Jon’s accident and during his recovery in the hospital we received cards, notes, texts, phone calls, visits and packages from all over the country to show support for our family. We even received love and encouragement from the highest levels of leadership at NCFCA. It was humbling, overwhelming, and made it possible for our children to actually compete as normal during this competition season. In fact my five competitors had their most successful season ever. Four of them qualified to the regional championship. My oldest found herself in finals in multiple speeches at multiple tournaments, qualified to the regional championship in five speeches and debate thus earning the ironman award, and even finished first place in one of her speeches at a qualifier tournament. The culmination of her season was her invitation to compete at the National Championship last week. The Lord opened the door for she and I to have a sweet respite from our daily toils and take the trip to the University of Northwestern in St. Paul, MN. This trip was a true treasure for my girl and me. We made it a fun road trip. We took a detour on the way to tour Bryan College in Dayton, TN and also visit with some friends. Anna is SOLD on Bryan. Now she’s working on applying for scholarships in order to help pay for it. The time with our NCFCA family was invaluable. I learned countless lessons and was recharged for service to our club while we were there. I also had the chance to fellowship with other parents in the league and strengthen some friendships. Anna had a great time with her friends and also did very well in her speech category. She finished 7th place in digital presentation. Her speech was Christ honoring and encouraging. If you would like to see it, you can follow this link https://youtu.be/cEspfLAVVnw. Anna was also bestowed with another honor. She has been chosen to serve on the 2023 – 24 Student Advisory Council for NCFCA. I am so excited to see what God is going to do through her during the next year.

May and June are big months in our household. We have seven birthdays within a four-week time frame. At the end of May, the twins turned 16! I find it hard to believe those tiny babies are now handsome young men. They took driver’s education and are working on getting their learner’s permits. The thought of them driving a vehicle absolutely brings my prayer life to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL! A few days later, I had my birthday (I am a lot more than 16 years old). Rosie turned seven a few days after that. While we were at the National Championship there were three birthdays in our household. Two of them were pretty big milestones! Jon turned 50 this year and Anna turned 18! Eva turned 9 the day after Anna turned 18. We had at least two celebrations for her once we returned home. If you know me at all, you know I LOVE birthdays. I love to celebrate the people I love. I love to thank the Lord for what He is doing in their lives. I love to throw a big party, cook their favorite foods, and have all of our friends over. I love to make and give gifts for my friends and family too. This year I wanted so badly to celebrate the fact that God has given Jon another year! I wanted to celebrate the milestone of Anna moving into adulthood. Reality did not exactly match up with my plans for the birthdays this year, but I do feel like we celebrated them all well. I am grateful that the Lord have given me such a wonderful family and I would love to celebrate each of them every single day! While we were at the National Championship, I did manage to throw a party for Anna and a couple of her friends who have close birthdays. I think it was a success.

As I stated earlier, brain cancer is not for the faint of heart; neither is the Christian life for the faint of heart! It is a perilous journey yet with a sure and glorious end. The circumstances of daily life with brain cancer are unchangeable. The question I must ask myself, as a Christian, is: “How will I walk through this trial?” Will I surrender to the seeming hopelessness of this trial, or will I allow God’s glory to be displayed through me? I pray that I will allow the Lord to work through me and for His glory to shine through my life.

These words penned by Isaac Watts in the 1700s still ring ever true today.

Am I a soldier of the cross,

A follow’r of the Lamb?

And shall I fear to own His cause,

Or blush to speak His name?

Must I be carried to the skies

On flow’ry beds of ease,

While others fought to win the prize,

And sailed through bloody seas?

Are there no foes for me to face?

Must I not stem the flood?

Is this vile world a friend to grace,

To help me on to God?

Sure I must fight if I would reign;

Increase my courage, Lord;

I’ll bear the toil, endure the pain,

Supported by Thy Word.

Thy saints in all this glorious war

Shall conquer, though they die;

They see the triumph from afar,

By faith’s discerning eye.

When that illustrious day shall rise,

And all Thy armies shine

In robes of vict’ry through the skies,

The glory shall be Thine.

I do not know what the Lord will do in Jon’s life with this cancer. I do not know if Jon will defy all of the statistics and, to the glory of the Lord, be fully restored. It is my desire and prayer. Even if the Lord chooses not to answer that prayer, I will trust in Him. I will worship Him. I will follow Him with my whole heart. I AM a soldier of the cross. In the words of Isaac Watts, I will not ‘fear to own His cause or blush to speak His name’! I will not ‘be carried to the skies on flow’ry beds of ease.’ ‘I’ll bear the toil, endure the pain supported by His Word.’ I know that one day all those who trust in Christ will live with Him in glory and be made new in glorification. There will be no sorrow, sin, or sickness. THIS is our hope! Do you have this hope?