eloquent: adj. fluent or persuasive in speaking or writing

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. – Proverbs 16:24 (NASB)

In this world of drive thru food, grocery pick-up, 2-day ‘Prime’ delivery and text messaging slang, the art of writing and speaking in an eloquent manner seems to have fallen by the wayside. However, this is not true of the entire world. In my opinion, learning to communicate in an effective, winsome form is paramount to the future of our children and our country. I know that this is a lofty statement. In order to explain how I came to this understanding, I need to rewind a few years.

It was the summer of 2016. A friend mentioned the idea of our family joining our local homeschool speech and debate club. I had heard of this group before, but always felt that my kids were too young and probably not studious enough for this activity. I just didn’t see how the benefits could outweigh the enormous costs.

As my friend touted the numerous advantages of joining our local speech and debate club (BRSD) and affiliating with the national league (NCFCA), I became convinced that this activity could work for our family. So, one Friday in early September, I dragged my 12 year old daughter and my 8 other children aged 10 and under (including a 3 month old infant) to our very first club meeting. This began one of the most valuable endeavors in which our family has ever engaged!

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. -Proverbs 25:11 (NASB)

Fast forward six years and 10 tournaments later, my daughter has been transformed from the girl who ran out of the room crying at the prospect of public speaking to one of the most articulate and accomplished orators that I have ever met! Over the past six years our Baton Rouge Speech and Debate Club and our NCFCA Region 7 friends have become like family to us. This was supremely evident in the midst of all the turmoil in our lives over the past four months. I cannot even begin to number the meals, cards, letters, gifts, packages and many other forms of encouragement that were sent our way during this trial. We have even received encouragement and support from the national levels at NCFCA!

As the time drew near for the first tournament of the season we agonized over the decision to compete. This first tournament was in Montgomery, AL, about 5 1/2 hours from our home. There would be certain measurable costs to taking this trip, but also innumerable costs that are not quantifiable. Eventually, we made the decision to make the trip. Jon encouraged us to try and continue on with as many of our normal activities as possible. Kind friends agreed to help Jon with the younger kids at home. Others were engaged to drive Jon and the kids to church and their other scheduled activities for the week. All of our plans were made and the trip was confirmed.

Over the course of time as we progressed nearer and nearer to the tournament I constantly exhorted my competitors to prepare themselves for the competition. I continually explained the cost of this tournament for us. I elucidated over and over the need for them to make the most of this opportunity. In truth, I probably pressed them too hard. I know their potential. I fully understood the sacrifice it took for them to participate. Somehow it seemed they did not! How could they possibly be missing this urgency? Three days before the tournament, they were still writing their speeches. They were trying to memorize them on the way to the tournament. They had not fully briefed all the negative cases for debate and their affirmative cases left a lot to be desired. In short, they just were not ready to compete according to their ability.

Somehow, I had deceived myself into thinking that going to Montgomery would be like every other tournament . My big kids would rise to the occasion, I would work a tournament staff job, catch up with my friends, we would all learn lessons about being good winners or losers and maybe even sing kumbaya with everyone as we cried through our last night together. Ok, maybe kumbaya was a bit overboard, but I think the message is abundantly clear! I had a few expectations. The truth began to slam me in the face as I walked into the hotel and saw all of our friends from around the region. I quickly ducked into my room and remained there for about an hour. The truth I had realized is that even though I wanted to see all of my friends from other cities and states, I really didn’t want to have to recount, relive, and lament again over all of the events of the past few months. As I sat in my hotel room I began to cry. The tears came and kept coming. They filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks in a soggy, mascara filled mess. I could not stop crying. I cried a big, ugly cry for really the first time since this whole tragedy started. As I thought of having to go and talk to all those people for the next three days, the fact that my kids were not prepared, Jon at home alone with the five little kids, and just how out of normal things had become, I just couldn’t stop sobbing. Why had we even come to this tournament?

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

-Proverbs 16:9 (NASB)

My answer came over the next few days as I observed the catharsis that the whole process of writing and delivering their speeches had become for my older children. They all wrote about their daddy in one form or another in their speeches. James wrote about the influence that dads have on their children and included some of the ways his dad has influenced him. David wrote about pigs as comfort animals which was inspired by an incident where Jon joked about needing a ‘comfort pig’. Abigail wrote about overcoming fear and described how she felt the first time she saw Jon in the hospital. Anna wrote about living consistently with your faith and described how Jon remained faithful to Christ even throughout the darkest days in the hospital. I knew these messages were powerful and I was so excited for my young men and women to share them with the world! What I didn’t realize was how just delivering their speeches (even if they simply read their scripts) helped them to work through all of the emotions involved in this whole ordeal. Our heavenly Father is so kind and loving, teaching us always that His ways are not our ways. His ways are higher than our ways. I made plans for this trip, but the Lord directed our steps.

In many ways, I feel that the tournament was cathartic for me as well. I am constantly amazed at the way the Lord uses these circumstances to teach us new things about Himself. I was reminded that there are so many lessons to learn at these tournaments and this doesn’t depend on whether they win or loose, are fully prepared or only barely ready. We learn lessons about following Christ and committing our ways to Him in every area. I learned a lot about what it is to sacrifice for my kids even when they don’t give their all. It reminds me of Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Loving, supporting, training and teaching our children requires this kind of sacrificial love. This is the kind of love that only Christ demonstrated perfectly. I am also reminded that I cannot show this love in my own power. I must rely on Christ. It is only by His power in me that I can properly parent my children.

There are also countless ways in which the Lord used this time to open my eyes to misconceptions I was entertaining about our life now. Let me explain this further. Many times over the past few months I would describe an activity or event in which we engaged as ‘a little slice of normal’. I thought that this tournament would be a kind of ‘BIG slice of normal’. What I came to realize is that my thoughts about ‘slices of normal’ were not profitable ways of thinking. When I think about what I remember as ‘normal’ I am just reinforcing unrealistic expectations. Our lives have been forever changed. I cannot expect to get back to ‘normal’, we have to navigate these new circumstances. Facing our new ‘normal’ and the daily obstacles it brings is overwhelming for me. It would be suffocating if not for one important truth found in God’s word.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The predominant principle that the Lord had continually taught me during this whole ordeal is the sovereignty of God. It is easy to give lip service to the sovereignty of God while we go about our own lives, making our own decisions, and fooling ourselves into thinking that we own our destiny! Then, in one instant, the Lord reminds us of His complete sovereignty over all events of this universe and we are but dust. For it is “in Him we live and move and exist” – Acts 17:28a When we consider these sufferings in light of God’s complete control of all things it then becomes easy to say as Paul said in Romans 8:18,“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.“

As I type this, I am in the waiting room of The Nueromedical Center where Jon is having his MRI to see if the cancer has grown in his brain over the past four months and if the treatments have had any affect. Tomorrow we will see Dr. King and get the results of this test. Over the past week as I have prepared for this day, it has been hard to know how to pray. Every year, our pastor encourages the entire congregation to memorize the same passage. This year’s passage was so very timely and encouraging to me. It is taken from Romans chapter 8. I think it will be fitting to close this post with a portion of this text.

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for [us] with groanings too deep for words;
and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to [the will of] God.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to [His] purpose.
For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined [to become] conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
What then shall we say to these things? If God [is] for us, who [is] against us?
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
Just as it is written, “FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.”
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:26 – 39

Do you have this hope that I have? Are you too convinced that nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord? There would be no way to navigate these troubled waters of this trial and tribulation or even the day to day ups and downs of life without my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! If you do not know Him, I urge you to seek Him!